


You Wouldn't Do That, Would You?

by Retreat_Now



Category: The Last of Us
Genre: And Joel Ruined Humanity's Last Chance And Killed Innocent People, BAMF Ellie, BAMF Joel, F/F, Joel Is The Angel On Ellie's Shoulder, Outcast Ellie, Outcast Joel, So What Does That Say About Ellie
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-16
Updated: 2019-05-27
Packaged: 2020-03-06 04:47:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,928
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18843943
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Retreat_Now/pseuds/Retreat_Now
Summary: "Please. Ellie, you've got to stop. You're going to die." Dina pleaded, her hands hesitant to grab onto Ellie's shirt, soaked with blood as it was, torn from the bullets and the blades and the bites and the-.. It didn't matter.Bloodied hands grasped at freckled cheeks, turning her green eyes to focus on her. "You've got to quit. It's over, just go home. There's got to be an end to all this where you get to go home." Dina cried, her voice desperate and her fingers slick with blood as they ran through Ellie's wet hair. Maybe she should have listened.But when she stood up again, breath sputtering and hands shaking, she wasn't hearing a god damned thing.





	1. Jesse didn't.

Ellie hated people. Mostly. Really, she just hated how they made her feel. An unprovoked conversation or social interaction often made her defensive, threw her off. Made her throat close up and her fight or flight instincts kick in. Joel was much the same, she noticed, and it was hard not to see the mask come up when he was in public. At home, behind the safety of their own doors, he smiled. He talked, he even joked. Said sweet and nice things, took every opportunity for a quip or a corny pun- he'd act similarly when he was with Tommy. People he cared about, she thought. It brought a smile to her face. But, of course, with strangers or associates, he had that hard gaze. Stony, brooding. Dark eyes glaring about, checking the entrances and keeping his back to no one. 

Maybe she picked up those habits from him. They were useful, and they'd came in handy more than once whenever one of the duo would see something awry in the forest, hear the clicks of a clicker or the clicks of a gun, but it was intimidating, supposedly. Ellie understood, to an extent, watching Joel watch over a party from the corner, his arms crossed and his brow furrowed, like a south Texan Batman with a gun and a trigger finger. It certainly wasn't inviting, which Ellie was glad for, but that didn't stop a dark haired chipper girl from swaggering up to her like she wanted to sell her something.

"Ellie!" Dina yelled, her hands wrapping around the collar of the green flannel that hung loosely from Ellie's figure. The gesture caused her throat to tighten and a blush to crawl up her freckled cheeks. "You were starting to look like a statue from over there." A laugh fell from Dina's lips as the shorter girl tried to imitate Ellie's rigid stance. Ellie stiffened as Dina's head fell forward with another fit of laughter, pressing against her chest. Her hands fell from Ellie's collar, running down her shoulders, slowly drifting past her arms as the drunken girl's head lifted, lips faintly brushing against the taller girl's ear.

"Come dance with me." She breathed, and Ellie could hear the smile in her voice. She let out a heavy sigh, green eyes flickering down to the church flooring to avoid looking at the hands that had started to roam across her torso. Swallowing heavily, her throat tight from the eyes she knew were bound to be watching, Ellie's head shook slightly. "If it's anything like last time, I think I'll stay over here." Her voice shook, and as soon as the words left her mouth, it clamped shut, blush growing stronger. Dina was humiliating, in a bad way, but the other girl just couldn't understand why Ellie hated these public displays of affection. Especially not while Dina was in this state, words slurring and hands exploring far too much. When Ellie's hands, gently as she could manage, pulled Dina's away from her shirt, the short girl pulled back from her ear with a gasp of mock offense. "I thought you liked my kiss? Didn't you say you liked my mouth?"

Ellie's jaw clenched at the words. She had said that, admittedly. A slip of the tongue, a flustered mistake after an unexpected kiss. Her green eyes shot back to Dina's visage, the flushed girl drinking in the expressions with that shit eating grin on her face. She got a kick out of making Ellie flustered like this, she enjoyed it. The taller girl fidgeted with her crossed arms, fingers plucking at the flannel that covered her biceps out of habit. "I think you've had too much to drink, Dina." She admitted, leveling her tone to give Dina less ammo for her flirtatious mocking. Though she genuinely did think that Dina had drank too much, and she didn't want to babysit, getting Dina home safely was as valid a reason as any to leave the party early. 

"Well.." Dina started, and Ellie prepared for some sort of retort or excuse to stay, but instead.. "While Joel is stuck here, we should go back to your place and you can show me just how much you like my mouth." Lightning shot through Ellie's spine, her muscles tensing and her eyes widening. Her face flushed hot and vibrant, all the way up to her ears. Dina was always a bit lewd with her humor, but no laugh or jest came. Just a dark, intense look from Dina's eyes that made Ellie's abdomen tighten and twist in a way she had never felt. Their first kiss was only a week ago, and Ellie could count on one hand the amount of times they had kissed since then. It must have been the alcohol talking. It had to be. Dina seemed to be under the impression that her taller girlfriend's shock was some form of approval, having taken her by the hand, leading her out the back of the church and into the near empty streets of Jackson.

Ellie kept a steadying hand on Dina's arm, leading her home as best as she could, with the drunken woman stumbling about. Her muscles were tense, free hand clenched into a fist at her side. People had stared as they exited, and she had no doubt they thought Ellie had the same intentions as Dina had. She didn't. Dina was shit faced, for Christ's sake. Still, even then, the thought of any sort of intimate acts intimidated Ellie. To be so vulnerable to a person, to let them .. see you. It stirred up fear in her mind, the thought of vulnerability. It struck through her spine like a cold winter's snow, or the frozen bars of a cell. She wasn't prepared for something like that, even if her body screamed at her otherwise.

The hard jiggling of a doorknob pulled Ellie from her thoughts, watching Dina try with fumbling hands to open the door to Joel's house. "It's locked, dumbass." Ellie mumbled, pushing Dina's hands aside with an elbow as she tried to unlock the door. The drunken mess let out a muffled giggle into the flannel of her shoulder, chest shaking with the laughter. Something must have struck her as funny, because she was wiping tears with her sleeves when she staggered inside the dark interior of the building. "That's not how you speak to a lady." Dina mumbled, face contorted into barely contained laughter. 

"You're a lady now?" Ellie retorted with a mock irritated grumble, helping Dina up the stairs as the shorter girl kicked off her shoes with some struggle. Ellie would pick those up later, but now she had a slightly bigger problem at hand. A one hundred and ten pound problem, but slightly bigger nonetheless. When Dina tried to resort to crawling up the stairs, a tattooed forearm wrapped around her midsection and lifted her into the air. It wasn't the first time Ellie had carried Dina to a bed, but it was the first time she'd done with Dina trying to undo the buttons of her shirt, despite the fact they weren't even buttoned to begin with. In the privacy of her own home, the drunken antics were less flustering and were instead irritating. 

When she laid out her girlfriend on the bed, she expected some kind of joke or innuendo, some drunken attempt to get Ellie to join her on the twin bed, but instead Dina just stared at Ellie, face flushed from alcohol and loose strands of hair framing her head like a sloppy halo. Her green eyes stared back at her, brows raising in annoyed question. "What?" A look of hurt flashed across Dina's features, and she feared that her tone had come off too strongly, features softening as she repeated the question. "What's wrong, Dina?"

She didn't expect it. She barely even heard it, Dina's voice only a soft whisper. "Jesse didn't think I was a nuisance." It was laced with hurt and accusation, the words repeating themselves in Ellie's head as if that'd make the sudden blow to her chest any less. Her lips parted, words slowly escaping.. "I don't think you're a.." But it didn't matter, Ellie knew. She was just drunk, it didn't matter. Not like Ellie could explain her irritation to her right now anyways, it'd just end up with Dina crying and puking and a lack of sleep. Her green irises avoided eye contact as she looked to her side, silently making her way out the room and back down the stairs. She'd sleep on the couch. It'd be fine.


	2. Chapter 2

An ache through Ellie's neck and back made itself known far before she had even come to consciousness, though it only seemed to grow more intense as she was shook awake. Her brows furrowed and her lips pressed together in a silent groan as large weathered hands grasped at her shoulder and shook again. "Get up, Ellie. Scoot." Soberness seemed to crash down on her mind as the teen sat up, blood rushing to her head with a crushing headache. Two fingers pressed to her temple as if she could will the headache away, pressing her body to the furthest side of the couch. Joel's weight sat next to her, arm moving around the back of the couch as he relaxed into the cushions. His dark eyes flickered to Ellie as she groaned again, leaning back with a heavy sigh.

"You alright, kiddo'?" He questioned, his voice laced with worry and exhaustion. The party must've just finished, Ellie thought, finally willing her eyes to open to the relatively dark room. "Saw you leaving the party with Dina." Joel said, her brow furrowing some at the slight tone of accusation she thought she heard. "Y'all get up to much?" He continued, face stoic as Ellie threw her head back into the cushion with a loud groan, a slight tinge to her cheeks.

"Joel!" She yelled, head turning to face his with an expression of exasperation. "Nothing happened! And if something _did_ happen, it wouldn't be any of your business, I'm an adult!" Ellie threw her hands out as she spoke, before letting them rest on her knees, toying with the torn fabric of her jeans. Joel had been apprehensive about Ellie hanging out with Dina for years. At first it had started with worries that Dina was only encouraging Ellie's 'recklessness', but when he clued in on the atmosphere between them, it .. evolved. He didn't seem to be happy with Dina's lewd jokes, especially when the topic was Ellie, and he especially didn't like when Dina directed her teasing at him, whether it be about his age or his love life. Silence lingered between the father and daughter before she spoke up again, voice quieter and less confident. "She's just sleeping upstairs."

Joel's tanned and rough hand raised up to his own faced, scratching at his increasingly greying beard. "Alright." He said, simply. It didn't sit right with Ellie. She knew whenever he said so little, he had a lot to say. It'd come out, with coaxing. Or, sometimes, like today, he'd just come right out with it. "I just feel.." Ellie threw her head back into the cushion again, throwing her hands over her face. She was acting like a child, she knew, but Joel was old fashioned and he worried too much. Still, he continued, after a pause. "I'm happy that you've found someone your own age to hang out with. Shutting yourself off is easy, but being alone is hard." Joel said, the younger woman across from him staring at the popcorn ceiling of their little home for a moment, waiting for the inevitable.

"But?" She questioned. Joel always had a but.

"But Dina was drunk and clinging all over you, today, Ellie." Joel finished, exhaustion heavy in his voice, hoping she'd understand why he felt how he did. Her pale green eyes stared upwards, unresponsive, so he continued. "You're an adult. And you need to be responsible. The company you keep needs to do the same. Now, Jesse-" Ellie sat up straight, anger in her eyes as she turned to Joel and interrupted him.

"Oh bullshit, Joel! I don't want to hang out with Jesse. Why are you so against me spending time with my own.. girlfriend?" Ellie yelled, eyes wide and mouth agape with irritation as she stared at him. Jesse was friendly, and she usually enjoyed his company, but they weren't best friends, and they wouldn't be. They had a mutual respect, and Ellie did genuinely think he was one of the best among them, a good person. They just didn't click, and that was fine. Not everyone could be friends. Joel didn't much care for Jesse either, but he thought the younger man was a good leader and a good person, and thought he'd be a good influence on Ellie. "I like her. A lot. She makes me happy, and just because you isolate yourself to this house and Tommy's doesn't mean I have to as well." The teenager said as she stood from the couch, moving off to the stairs with an angry huff.

That night she slept in a bed with Dina for the first time. A very small bed with a snoring Dina, but a bed and a Dina all the same. It was nice. And hot, very sweaty. A part of her mind told her that it was all the layers of clothes, but she brushed that off. Even if the sleep itself wasn't the most pleasant, waking up to see Dina's eyes staring back at her, a tiny smile tugging at her lips, and that morning kiss.

It was nice. Really nice. She was happy.


	3. Uneasy.

Unease. Ellie hated the feeling. How it crept up your body like rising waters, crushing and weightless at the same time. How it filled your lungs and captured your breath, suffocating you so quietly even you don't notice. How it seemed to make your body float, yet seem magnetized in one place all the same. How eerily similar it was to pure, unfiltered fear. Ellie hated it. It was comparable to helplessness. Reminded her of the dreams she'd have sometimes, where her punches were slow and weak, like they lacked any momentum or force. She hated those the most. The lack of control, the doubt in her own abilities. The only thing worse than that horrible feeling in those dreams was that feeling in real life. Real time, in the moment. She had found herself walking, like a zombie, almost mindless, down the street after the siren ended. Bodies lined the street, some of their own and some not.  
  
This was her fault. 11 months. She had been warned for 11 months straight.  
  
"What happened?" Ellie found herself asking Jesse one day. Her relationship with Dina was great, but sometimes when she woke in the middle of the night to see the sleeping girl, she felt guilty. Her and Jesse were on weird ground after the party, yet neither were comfortable talking about it, so the tension was swept under a rug and never brought up again. Until now, of course. His dark eyes glanced over at her from the inventory he was taking- loot from the latest expedition out into the wilds. "To?" He questioned, gesturing a hand out in a circular motion for her to elaborate.  
  
"You and Dina." She continued, voice so light she was nearly mumbling. Unsure if she should be treading this ground. Jesse's head turned back and forth between the paper he had in front of him, and the girl over his shoulder. His mouth opened some, before shutting with an exhale from his nose. His tongue darted out, wetting his lips before he seemed to muster up the ability to speak. "Why, something going on?" His voice was almost dramatically straight, as if he took all that time to make sure his voice didn't convey any negative emotions.  
  
She understood. He had liked Dina, they'd been a thing, a good thing for a while. And then they weren't, and Ellie got his hopes up before.. The tall girl shook her head some, crossing her arms over her chest and leaning back against the warehouse shelf behind herself. "No, not between us. Just.. I saw the way she looked at you, before." Ellie admitted to him, her voice lowering towards the end of her sentence, quieting. Jesse set the paper down on the desk in front of himself, turning his body to face her, his back leaned against the metal, fingers playing with the pencil in his grasp, his gaze falling down to the ground as he seemed to mull over the words. "I don't know what happened. We were doing good. She was always worried about me, she was always around. We spent all that time together, it seemed so.. real, you know? And then one day, it wasn't. She was just different."  
  
Ellie's chest tightened at the sentiment. Her worry addled mind refreshed all of her recent memories with Dina and unconsciously compare them to the story. She'd be an idiot if she were to try and say she wasn't scared Dina would treat her like Jesse. Just.. vanish. "Different?" She asked, trying to maintain a semblance of cool. Jesse looked up at her with a raised brow, and there was some sort of understanding there. He nodded his head, his dark hair shaking with the motion. His fingers pinched and rolled the pencil between his hands, and his mouth opened moments before he spoke again.  
  
"She'd ask about the patrols, where I was going- if I thought we'd be attacked. Always so worried about me, y'know? Thought she cared the world for me. Maybe she still cares, but not like that. Maybe I pissed her off cause' I never told her." He scratched at the dark stubble on his cheek as he spoke, eyes staring ahead, past Ellie. His words lingered in her mind, questions rolling over her tongue, but she didn't ask any of them. "Thanks, Jesse." She said, instead. She didn't know why she was thanking him, or even why they had the conversation in the first place, but it certainly left her with more questions than answers.  
  
Dina brought the topic up not 5 days after. The middle of the night, and it seemed neither of them could get any sleep. Dina's nimble fingers danced and played across Ellie's chest, tapping against her skin to create a sort of rhythm. Ellie's eyes were forward, staring up at the ceiling of her room, mind racing and never lingering on one thing too long. "You've got patrol Friday." Dina whispered, so quietly Ellie could barely hear her over the sound of the bedside fan. Her head shifted, glancing over at the shorter, dark haired girl in question. "I do." She said simply. Dumbly. She'd never been one for words, especially when she had no idea where the conversation was heading.  
  
"Are you going out very far?" The dark haired teen continued, large brown eyes gazing at Ellie with a loving stare. Ellie let the question sit. And sit. And sit. She wasn't supposed to answer it, she knew. Patrol routes were meant to stay between the teams that went out and the head that sent them, usually Tommy, Maria, or Joel. As the silence lingered, Dina let out a quiet exhale, turning her body over to face her back to Ellie. There was an unsaid anger there, and Ellie's heart twisted at the sight of Dina moving away from her. When she extended her hand to set it on her girlfriend's arm, it was shrugged off with a mumbled 'goodnight.' She was just worried, Ellie knew, and it hurt to ignore her questions, and she was sure it hurt Dina as well. It wasn't worth it.  
  
"Past the lumberyard to the north. There's a little sight, not sure what it is. Probably a workplace. Not many infected, we'll be fine. I'll be fine." She found herself saying, and it wasn't long before Dina had closed the distance between them, entangling their bodies, and with it came that comfort and warmth that the smaller girl radiated. Dina buried her face in Ellie's neck, planting a few kisses on the skin, exhaling warm air as she whispered against it. "I'm sorry. I'm just worried. Come back to me." Ellie smiled into her girlfriend's dark hair, laying a kiss on her crown.   
  
"You're such a sap." She had said, with a smile. And then Friday came.  
  
The ambush had nearly killed them. 5 attackers, prepared and ready, versus the two of them? They should have died. Luckily, Jesse felt something was off and was one hell of a shot. He had covered her while she ran around to flank them. She had managed to kill 3 of them with a hammer she'd found on the way up to their ambush spot before they'd even registered she was approaching. The remaining two had managed to get a few shots off at her, but once they'd stood in shock, it took two bullets from Jesse- one each. It was him that helped her walk away from that, looping her arm over his shoulder. She'd been shot, but it wasn't her first time. Or her second. One in the thigh and one in the hip, Jesse wasn't confident in her assertions that she could walk fine, and she didn't stop him when he acted as a crutch for her.  
  
Dina had been a wreck when they got back, and was so mad at Ellie, though Ellie reminded her that she never promised not to get hurt. Joel, Maria, and Tommy were startled by the ambush. Organized bandit attacks hadn't happened in years, and an ambush was bad news. What worried them more was the uniforms. Rain coats, shaved heads, braided hair? It was freaky, but more than that, it meant they weren't bandits. This was a group. A large group, possibly, armed with guns and knives, all of them. Not wooden sticks and ratty clothing, but proper gear. Still, with all the people and defense that Jackson had, Tommy doubted they'd make an attack against the city or the dam itself. Joel and Maria weren't convinced, but they agreed that it was more than likely the patrols were going to be ambushed again.   
  
Patrols changed after that. They knew they were being watched, their routes memorized, and they knew ambushes were likely being set up around their usual spots, so things had to change. Ellie had suggested that they send smaller groups, and sneak around more. They'd grown comfortable with the surroundings, but this was now officially disputed territory, hostile grounds. It had to be treated like that. Tommy suggested sending hunting parties out to fight the faction head on, but it was decided that Ellie had a mostly thorough idea. Joel suggested instead of sending one, they send an entire patrol, as per usual, but they'd follow so distantly from each other that none of them were ever alone, but the entire group could never be ambushed. Seeing a group is easy, but seeing 4 people scattered across a forest, just barely within view of each other? That was different.   
  
Even when the revised patrols were kicked into action, and the following week a patrol got the jump on a prepared ambush, turning the tables on the uniformed faction, something didn't sit right with Ellie. She felt..  
  
Uneasy.

**Author's Note:**

> Trying a new style, please leave any and all criticisms down below and give me your thoughts on each chapter!


End file.
